Tag Archives: Death

Cause yooou, light up my life…

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Moth to the light
Throughout the last week or so I have been navel gazing….wait. Who the bijingo’s came up with that expression and what is more to the point why am I using it? Let me start again…

Throughout the last week or so I have become a serial- contemplative- gazer. (sigh…well that sound’s WAY less looney-tune doesn’t it?…side-ways look).

I have been…gazing out of window’s, gazing into my tea-cup…at supermarket fruit, into flower bed’s, into the back of spoon’s and other shiny reflective surface’s, into the eyes of my dog….this is a very long gaze because my dog does not look away until I do and I refuse to do so…And because it is summer here in New Zealand I have taken my gazing out into the warm evening’s for some gazing- at- the- waxing- moon gazing until I can feel the mosquitoes starting to nibble into the whites of my eyes.

The other evening I was sitting up in bed reading and thought….oh this feels healthy…you know…taking a little break from my newly formed gazing addiction. The lighting in the room however started to strobe itself silly and I began to feel as though I was reading my novella in the midst of a Charlie Chapman black and white.  I turned my head ceilingward (made that word up. like it!)…only to see Mr Moth throwing himself into a rave-like stupor around my eco-bulb. I then yelled out the following piece of dialogue….

“Hey!…Flappy Moth as big as a fricken sparrow!…If you like light so much why don’t you consider coming back in in ten hours when it’s actually DAYLIGHT!”

Geez…I know I know..Harsh word’s.  Who pulled my pony-tail and made me the world’s oldest Mean Girl?

I felt guilty pang’s.

Then the inevitable happened…moth gazing.

It was at this particular moment that I realized that all my prior Starey Mary moments were leading up to this one.

Two word’s popped into my head…Mr Moth seemed to be communicating them to me…ACTIVE INTENTION.

He isn’t just drawn to the light.. I thought…it’s like he want’s to BECOME the light.

So passionate, determined, no matter the risk of singed wing’s.. he was just out-in-out undeterred by potential risky outcome’s…intention was all he knew.

Mother Nature had designed him to be a creature of darkness hard-wired to find The Light.

Mr Moth suddenly dropped….dead.

I kid you not.

I scrambled from the bed cover’s.  Got down on the floor…cringing slightly because.. no crapolla.. he really did look as big as a fricken sparrow.  I came in closer. Nope. Not moving. I reached for a knitting needle…gave him a little prod….definitely no life contained within said insect.

What the?

I called for the funeral director…(my daughter) to take him away…she handles that sort of stuff very professionally. I hopped back under the cover’s bereft and fascinated…strange combination of emotion’s those two.

So for me…Miss Moonboot…the following was WHAT ‘I’ got from the whole experience…I am not going to twaddle on with physcological blah blah blah…

It’s pure and simple….less gazing….more action….be focused….be brave…don’t ‘follow’ the light….’be’ the light….try not to get burned….but if you do…get up and keep’ intending’ to be a ‘shining’ example even through the darker day’s…because life is short….and you never know when God’s going to flick your switch and call you home.

xxxxx love and light…Miss Moonsparkle.