I am so darn happy I could go to a forest and hug sixty tree’s! Whoa there Tonto….wait…I did already!
I am not a one-way-or-no-way kinda being….I have a HUGE respect for the big ol wide gambit of ALL creature’s…everything under the Sun and Moon and everything beyond them….whoever you are…whatever you believe in…I am only ever going to come at ya in LOVE. If your a mean person who does mean thing’s intentionally to creature’s then I am not going to align myself with you but I will always ask the Universe…ALL the Higher Power’s to ‘go to you now’ to give you Medicine….in which ever way ‘they’ see fit…I will always pray ‘For the Highest Good of ALL’…if I don’t understand, if I am confused to the point of numbness…then I have to ‘hand it over and UP’….in the name of Love.
I have stopped falling down the rabbit-hole…those last few months….ew!…ME NOT LIKE! Well lets face it…change is always only going to be comfortable or wet-socks kinda torrential… Well in that case I had wet hair, wet pants, and mascara melted into my cheek-bones…my heart was all raw and weepy and when I looked into the mirror I saw like a 100 year old Death-Metal-Band- member version of my Mother starring back at me…(you know what I mean Ma…stress is a tad aging and um….visually concerning.)
I really am in a new Wonderland…feeling much better and then some! Not wanting to blow my own pan-pipe or anything but the other day a sparrow flew onto my lap in the forest and stayed there twittering beautifully to me for like 45 seconds or so…as he hopped up and down my legs two Fan-Tails fluttered with gusto about my head!…I was hoping that the tree in front of me would take -on an Ent-like disposition and start dancing with me to a Florence And The Machine track but I was more than happy with the bird who mistook me for Snow White.
The photo is me…and this palm-to-palm pose is what I do now when…I need to focus and be grateful…to give thank’s and to set an intention. Yep I went through an ew-patch but….its passed…they always do sweety’s…and hey I know there will be another tricky time in the future…that ‘s the ol life-trip deal…but for now I am thankful for The Lesson…LIFE IS MAGICAL…and I’m flowing with The Go….xxx
Hi Moonbeams. So I am still in the in-between. Living out of the suitcase. Still trying to find a nest for The Angel Child and myself. Grateful for the thing’s I DO have though at the beginning and at the end of each day. I am experiencing a lot of block’s….there isn’t ‘flow’ flowing….and um…that I am figuring that that is down to me with a little ‘wait a minute’ thrown in there from The Universe…
Where I am staying there is a cat. Poor poppet…she was a feral rescue cat and she has the personality of a Tasmanian Devil. She’s cute when she’s asleep kinda thing. I call her Happy. When you name a thing sometimes miracles can happen etc etc. Anyhoo…in the room I am in…that has 942 of my belongings piled in with me….there is the bed in the far corner. She has taken to sleeping on it…and um…throws her jaw open and spits and hisses whenever I get near. She usually sleeps on the top of the bed but this morning I went to get a cup of tea then came back to bedroom, threw the cover back and she launched herself at me like….well….something that was NOT ‘happy’. On another occasion she stood behind the net curtain on the window sill looking like the Bride of Frankenstein…I thought she looked quite beautiful and the sound that she was able to produce without moving her lip’s moved me, in as much as…that I felt compelled to leave the room post haste. Last night my little dog and I were sleeping…(yes we managed to claim the bed! Happy wasn’t there! Oh the relief!!) I was dozing off turned over and her shadow was this time on the outside of the window back-lit by the street-light’s…The song Memories from Cat’s came to mind…perhaps sung by Marilyn Manson rather than Elaine Page….
My point is…through all this transition and all the icky roller-coastery bit’s that go with, Happy the cat has made me laugh. As scare-bear as she is she claim’s her life and her position with the utmost of all certainty….she makes her boundaries CLEAR and….has a gift for creatively coming up with how to scare the beejeez out of me two or three times a day… I wont forget her when I’ve gone…even though I am sure she will be pleased to see the back of me and my side-kick canine….blessssssssss.xx
I am soooo grateful to that retrograde storm that crashed through my life a few weeks back. I felt the Goddess Kali around me like a cruel-to-be-kind Mother she came in shrilling, tongue out, eyes glaring telling me to WAKE UP CHILD! WAKE UP FROM YOUR IGNORANT SLEEP! AWAKEN AT ONCE! She demonstrates no mercy when she wants you to see what she wants you to see…I remember going to the mirror in my bathroom and looking deep into my eyes and gasping….I saw ‘the truth’ staring back at me…it was almost like an out-of-body type of thing, I had split into two, I was looking at myself as another person…it was one of the most surreal moments of my life….it was almost like my soul, my Higher Self was staring back at Tracey the Human Being and in that moment I was confronted by all that I had created for her in this lifetime….the good the bad and the otherwise. I was hiding. Hiding behind the day-to-day stuff, ‘acting’ as if everything was just peachy. I heard Freddy Mercury sing out “Oh yes I’m the great pretender….’ on the radio a day or two before my ‘awakening’ and I had to turn it off as the anger it brought up in me…..it was so telling.
I have packed a bag and left a thing. I have left an energy not akin to the essence of my own. I have put the lie down called it a lesson and walked away with my head to the sun even though my heart felt battered and bruised by a darkened night…a mis-guided chapter or two that I had purposely written in secret invisible ink.
There are people today who have limited or no freedom to choose….there are people on our earth today who are too afraid to make a decision for their highest good and so tonight will close their eyes and awaken to the same reality tomorrow. I am so conscious of these human being’s at this time….they are in my thoughts and prayers 24/7 it seems…I am so blessed to be in the position of choice, reflection and healing….I am so blessed to have friends. I am so blessed. I remember getting a class full of children to show me what freedom looked like and they all just started laughing and twirling and rolling on the floor and tickling and hugging each other. Beautiful.xxxx
Oh my Mercury Moonbeam’s of Retro FullMoony….Ness!!! Is everyone ok?!! Got any denial happening? Any issues that have been in your tissues that should of left the building with Elvis year’s ago?MMMM? How bout any relationship’s that are full of funk and gunk and vampire teeth that are still hanging around your neck like a necklace made from bulldozer chain? Never fear my twinkle-star’s because I know just the thing that will clear those thing’s up in the blink of a crossed, bloodshot eyeball….it’s called a retrograde glass of whiskey with full-moonbeam shots added for extra……….zip. (oh…maybe I should of used a more health conscious smoothie as my drink of example….meh….)
I sure have been feeling my karma. I wonder if you have been experiencing a little torch -of -truth shinning in your eyes too?
For a couple of day’s I felt a situation (in my life) building…a situation that needed to explode in hindsight as I was just plain out-right IGNORING what I knew had to be done….and as we know sweetheart’s…when we keep ignoring The Universe’s messages…I don’t even have to finish that sentence…you know the deal.
If you find yourself in deep, reflective-intense water at this time…I know its cold…I know its dark..but put your palms together or open your arm’s wide…and look down…your in it only waste deep…there is still air flowing in and out of your lung’s…your ok. Pray it up. Chant it out. Look around you. Feel the good the bad and the unidentified….acknowledge it all be GRATEFUL for it ALL…yeah tough…especially when your looking at the scarier bits….but if you acknowledge, then and only then can you truely go forwards with the sorting….the releasing…and the loving yourself anyways steps that follow on. Don’t be afraid to spend time in THAT water…(yes I know you forgot to take your robe off before you entered and it’s clinging like co-dependent kelp to your flawless body but it add’s to the moonlit look me think’s)….The Universe….Love’s you…to your soul and back…wants you to have your BEST life…so come on now…remember to attend to your garden when the weed’s are starting to come through rather than when they are are spreading out of control and restricting your precious life-force energy….
I love you Moonbeam’s. Don’t forget…..to love you too…..xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Hi Moonbeam’s. First of all I love you. Too intense to begin with? Well I’m not going to say sorry and take it back…you will just have to deal with me giving you a cyber lovey dovey love squeeze…feel the glitter-ball’s and multi-color stream’s of the dry-ice machine swirling around you…from me…to you.
The thing is…I haven’t been giving MYSELF enough fantasia-swirl’s lately…I don’t know whether it’s just my 3rd mid-life crisis trying to scratch her banshee way through the bathroom window of my mind, or a weird no-longer-a-maiden-not-quite-the-crone betwixyness thing poking my ear but….I am sweet one day, sour the next, spicy then tart, bitter then syrupy….a schitzy buffet of cray cray Shontay then John Lennon Zen. Am I being kind to myself? Um…yeah. Am I ‘looking after’ myself? Um…yeah…ish. Ok so define ‘looking after oneself’….Mmmmmmmm….Sleeping enough, eating and excercising everyday to the best of one’s ability, making ENOUGH time for ritual, chanting,praying, grounding, performing random act’s of kindness, socializing, getting enough laughter in the belly, doing one thing a week that is new or creatively a little different outside the realm’s of same same? Mmmmmm….so yup….now I see why I’ve been a snappy puppy. I haven’t been being WITH myself enough. I have been STEALING moment’s…..that’s not……….working for me. I’ve had a big OUT OF ORDER sign stuck to my back for two week’s and I didn’t even know that it was there…until last night when I woke up tearful…needing to crawl onto someone’s lap…well…my dog was there….snoring like a pirate post several nip’s of rum…but…mmm…I left him to it and tried to climb into my own lap but that REALLY doesn’t work so I hugged my pillow. (Jeeez).
So…good. I thought something TERRIBLE was wrong with me but as it turn’s out it’s actually just a case of ME not hanging out enough with the MYSELF and the I enough. I figured it out…and that’s pretty dam groovey because I can now DO something about it. In day’s of old this would of gone on for week’s…even month’s. I am self-aware again…how snazzy. I’m going to pour myself a wine and drink to my own reflection…aahhh why not..she’s my oldest and dearest friend when all is said and done xx
Hi Moonbeam’s of Light and Magical Dust Matter that matter’s….
I asked the Universe the other night…”Hey Love…could you please tell me what you most want me to keep in my mind for 2015?”…and I got within two second’s…STAND YOUR GROUND AND LET YOUR COLOR’S FLOW!!….oh….o.k.
I needed confirmation from a human being on this( I felt the Universe tisktisk and put hand’s on hip’s, but hey, the Universe know’s that I have the odd self-belief issue here and there and often require a second opinion on the Earth Plane ) so I texted my friend Rose and said..Rose could you pull a card for me with the question in mind for me being…What do I need to keep in mind for 2015… Out of 72 card’s after ten minute’s she sent through a card that read…STAND YOUR GROUND IN THE TRUTH OF WHO YOU ARE. oh…ok. Thank you Rose, you may return to the garden my lovely friend.
Soooo….I made tea and took it outside and sipped at it under the night’s blue-black sky.
“So Trace…(yes that is me talking to myself out loud)…what do you think that is all about?”
I inhaled deeply and exhaled deeper.
‘Put ALL your color’s down upon your 44th canvass this year, tell The Story, tell The Truth, Be Bold, Be Love, Be!!.’
I smiled at my word’s spoken out loud (from myself, to myself, about myself).
My body felt electric and peaceful all at once….and that…
was the End to my Beginning….xxxxxx
You stole my tide…..my sea of plenty
and fed it to the toi toi’s saw-like teeth.
When I lay sleeping
you slipped a fish-hook to my tongue to
reel me in…
should I say too much.
You gifted me a pretty dress
lined in a fisherman’s net
to remind me that I AM your flotsam…caught.
You invite my bone’s to swim with your’s…
I break-surface to find you laughing-cruel upon the rock’s, and
again I’m slick with oil.
This environmental disaster
makes you not my master.
I still have in my hand
one tiny grain of sand…
MY PROMISED LAND