I am so darn happy I could go to a forest and hug sixty tree’s! Whoa there Tonto….wait…I did already!
I am not a one-way-or-no-way kinda being….I have a HUGE respect for the big ol wide gambit of ALL creature’s…everything under the Sun and Moon and everything beyond them….whoever you are…whatever you believe in…I am only ever going to come at ya in LOVE. If your a mean person who does mean thing’s intentionally to creature’s then I am not going to align myself with you but I will always ask the Universe…ALL the Higher Power’s to ‘go to you now’ to give you Medicine….in which ever way ‘they’ see fit…I will always pray ‘For the Highest Good of ALL’…if I don’t understand, if I am confused to the point of numbness…then I have to ‘hand it over and UP’….in the name of Love.
I have stopped falling down the rabbit-hole…those last few months….ew!…ME NOT LIKE! Well lets face it…change is always only going to be comfortable or wet-socks kinda torrential… Well in that case I had wet hair, wet pants, and mascara melted into my cheek-bones…my heart was all raw and weepy and when I looked into the mirror I saw like a 100 year old Death-Metal-Band- member version of my Mother starring back at me…(you know what I mean Ma…stress is a tad aging and um….visually concerning.)
I really am in a new Wonderland…feeling much better and then some! Not wanting to blow my own pan-pipe or anything but the other day a sparrow flew onto my lap in the forest and stayed there twittering beautifully to me for like 45 seconds or so…as he hopped up and down my legs two Fan-Tails fluttered with gusto about my head!…I was hoping that the tree in front of me would take -on an Ent-like disposition and start dancing with me to a Florence And The Machine track but I was more than happy with the bird who mistook me for Snow White.
The photo is me…and this palm-to-palm pose is what I do now when…I need to focus and be grateful…to give thank’s and to set an intention. Yep I went through an ew-patch but….its passed…they always do sweety’s…and hey I know there will be another tricky time in the future…that ‘s the ol life-trip deal…but for now I am thankful for The Lesson…LIFE IS MAGICAL…and I’m flowing with The Go….xxx
Hi Moonbeams. So I am still in the in-between. Living out of the suitcase. Still trying to find a nest for The Angel Child and myself. Grateful for the thing’s I DO have though at the beginning and at the end of each day. I am experiencing a lot of block’s….there isn’t ‘flow’ flowing….and um…that I am figuring that that is down to me with a little ‘wait a minute’ thrown in there from The Universe…
Where I am staying there is a cat. Poor poppet…she was a feral rescue cat and she has the personality of a Tasmanian Devil. She’s cute when she’s asleep kinda thing. I call her Happy. When you name a thing sometimes miracles can happen etc etc. Anyhoo…in the room I am in…that has 942 of my belongings piled in with me….there is the bed in the far corner. She has taken to sleeping on it…and um…throws her jaw open and spits and hisses whenever I get near. She usually sleeps on the top of the bed but this morning I went to get a cup of tea then came back to bedroom, threw the cover back and she launched herself at me like….well….something that was NOT ‘happy’. On another occasion she stood behind the net curtain on the window sill looking like the Bride of Frankenstein…I thought she looked quite beautiful and the sound that she was able to produce without moving her lip’s moved me, in as much as…that I felt compelled to leave the room post haste. Last night my little dog and I were sleeping…(yes we managed to claim the bed! Happy wasn’t there! Oh the relief!!) I was dozing off turned over and her shadow was this time on the outside of the window back-lit by the street-light’s…The song Memories from Cat’s came to mind…perhaps sung by Marilyn Manson rather than Elaine Page….
My point is…through all this transition and all the icky roller-coastery bit’s that go with, Happy the cat has made me laugh. As scare-bear as she is she claim’s her life and her position with the utmost of all certainty….she makes her boundaries CLEAR and….has a gift for creatively coming up with how to scare the beejeez out of me two or three times a day… I wont forget her when I’ve gone…even though I am sure she will be pleased to see the back of me and my side-kick canine….blessssssssss.xx
Hi Moonbeam’s. First of all I love you. Too intense to begin with? Well I’m not going to say sorry and take it back…you will just have to deal with me giving you a cyber lovey dovey love squeeze…feel the glitter-ball’s and multi-color stream’s of the dry-ice machine swirling around you…from me…to you.
The thing is…I haven’t been giving MYSELF enough fantasia-swirl’s lately…I don’t know whether it’s just my 3rd mid-life crisis trying to scratch her banshee way through the bathroom window of my mind, or a weird no-longer-a-maiden-not-quite-the-crone betwixyness thing poking my ear but….I am sweet one day, sour the next, spicy then tart, bitter then syrupy….a schitzy buffet of cray cray Shontay then John Lennon Zen. Am I being kind to myself? Um…yeah. Am I ‘looking after’ myself? Um…yeah…ish. Ok so define ‘looking after oneself’….Mmmmmmmm….Sleeping enough, eating and excercising everyday to the best of one’s ability, making ENOUGH time for ritual, chanting,praying, grounding, performing random act’s of kindness, socializing, getting enough laughter in the belly, doing one thing a week that is new or creatively a little different outside the realm’s of same same? Mmmmmm….so yup….now I see why I’ve been a snappy puppy. I haven’t been being WITH myself enough. I have been STEALING moment’s…..that’s not……….working for me. I’ve had a big OUT OF ORDER sign stuck to my back for two week’s and I didn’t even know that it was there…until last night when I woke up tearful…needing to crawl onto someone’s lap…well…my dog was there….snoring like a pirate post several nip’s of rum…but…mmm…I left him to it and tried to climb into my own lap but that REALLY doesn’t work so I hugged my pillow. (Jeeez).
So…good. I thought something TERRIBLE was wrong with me but as it turn’s out it’s actually just a case of ME not hanging out enough with the MYSELF and the I enough. I figured it out…and that’s pretty dam groovey because I can now DO something about it. In day’s of old this would of gone on for week’s…even month’s. I am self-aware again…how snazzy. I’m going to pour myself a wine and drink to my own reflection…aahhh why not..she’s my oldest and dearest friend when all is said and done xx
Hi Moonbeam’s of Light and Magical Dust Matter that matter’s….
I asked the Universe the other night…”Hey Love…could you please tell me what you most want me to keep in my mind for 2015?”…and I got within two second’s…STAND YOUR GROUND AND LET YOUR COLOR’S FLOW!!….oh….o.k.
I needed confirmation from a human being on this( I felt the Universe tisktisk and put hand’s on hip’s, but hey, the Universe know’s that I have the odd self-belief issue here and there and often require a second opinion on the Earth Plane ) so I texted my friend Rose and said..Rose could you pull a card for me with the question in mind for me being…What do I need to keep in mind for 2015… Out of 72 card’s after ten minute’s she sent through a card that read…STAND YOUR GROUND IN THE TRUTH OF WHO YOU ARE. oh…ok. Thank you Rose, you may return to the garden my lovely friend.
Soooo….I made tea and took it outside and sipped at it under the night’s blue-black sky.
“So Trace…(yes that is me talking to myself out loud)…what do you think that is all about?”
I inhaled deeply and exhaled deeper.
‘Put ALL your color’s down upon your 44th canvass this year, tell The Story, tell The Truth, Be Bold, Be Love, Be!!.’
I smiled at my word’s spoken out loud (from myself, to myself, about myself).
My body felt electric and peaceful all at once….and that…
was the End to my Beginning….xxxxxx
It’s all thank’s to these two electromeister’s that I know how to give good lip-sync today. Throw me a synth and I’ll throw you a party for you and your eardrum’s using three finger’s.
The first time I re-made the ‘Nobody’s Diary’ vid by the ultra-coolio pair Yazoo, I was a tiny tweeny twelve year’s old. I sat my giant stuffed toy Pink Panther on a chair infront of me wearing sunglasses and I knelt behind him with a hair-sprayed fringe back-combed higher than Marge Simpson’s blue tower(albiet a small segment to cover my left eye only) and threw more make-up on than Duran Duran’s Nick Rhode’s ever applied his entire career. I sang the lyric’s into the mirror with so much intention, I even squeezed out a tear or six.
Oh Vince…I adored the way you stood…um…looking and Alison!!!…the way you stand at one point in the vid with your hand’s placed in a triangle shape…I am now reliving that stance whenever I am waiting for a bus or in line at the supermarket or bank and I am finding it so liberating. The hu-mungo diary and pen as stage prop’s and the little drama going on with those people from maybe a local thespian company looking to raise fund’s for roof repairs?…how quaint!
There just isn’t enough old school music video-making get-to-gether’s between friend’s going on anymore! Now we don’t just have mirror’s, we could record an entire video on a phone!!! Twelve year-old me would of swallowed her Hubba Bubba gum in shock and delight at such a notion!!
These type’s of vid’s taught me how to emote as a little actress. The content of this song…it’s like this gorgeous little poem about the fear of rejection…they kept it….. simple.
So my little Moonbeam’s go grab and apply some eye-liner….go to u tube and look up Yazoo..Nobody’s Diary…put your earplug’s in first then crank the volume…and have an electric little trip with me mid-galaxy…xxxxx love you guy’s…
What is going on my dear friend’s? Of late I am the receiver of all these present’s…and the card keep’s reading…For You Trace with Love from The Divine. If I cry ANY more Happy Tear’s of a day…I am going to have to take a change of clothes with me every time I step out the door! These were the precious interception’s in my yesterday….
Drinking my morning coffee, looking out of my bedroom window I saw toast come flying out of the kitchen window of the house next door. A little boy in pajama’s then appear’s and say’s ‘Grandma! You can’t feed the bird’s BURNT toast it will hurt their tummy’s and taste like smoke! Grandma follow’s him out, trying not to laugh at his insanely cute determination.
He pick’s up the toast frowning and shaking his head…”Grandma you have ‘deelishush’ budgie seed inside…why can’t we give some to the ‘outside bird’s’? Grandma’s face beamed. I could tell she was BASKING in that moment shared with her darling Grandson…and as she picked him up she inhaled deeply the smell of him…the joy of him…the sweetness of his innocent wisdom….’Of course we can my lovely boy…that is a WONDERFUL idea…you are so kind…’
At the supermarket, later that morning I was putting apple’s in my basket…I look up and a little baby is sitting in a trolley, smiling right into my eye’s…I blow her a kiss…she blow’s one back.
On the bus coming home from the city much later that day I sat next to a young man with heavy facial tattoo’s, several facial piercing’s and the biggest mohawk hair-do that I have seen in DECADES!!!!…I am talking EPIC. When seeing a very elderly couple being helped onto the bus by the driver he turn’s to me and say’s.’Um..excuse me, would you mind giving-up your seat with me for those two because the bus is full?
‘Of course I will’ I said grinning like The Cheshire Cat.
He then helped them to the seat, arranged the trundler the lady had to sit securely..and then said ‘Now are you both comfortable?’ The elderly couple both chimed a dozen time’s ‘Yes dear, thank you thank you’s’ between them and the little old lady even took his hand and squeezed it in gratitude.
Life just keep’s cracking my heart open in Love…every day there is an Angel in My Sky…and Angel’s on the Ground. I love my life.xxxx
I owe something to the actress Lisa Bonet…(known back-in-the-day for her role as Denise in the Cosby Show and for her relationship with Lenny Kravitz). She was this sublime, magical influence in my teenage year’s….oh geez…I use to tune into the show like my life depended on it….just to watch her.
She just wasn’t a try-hard. She said her line’s like she was in pure conversation, her gesture’s were goofy at time’s and yet she had swag with it, she had a dress-sense that I still consider to this day to be my first-love, and her hair…her HAIR!!!! That first episode when she introduced her dread-lock’s….I thought I was going to die of acute admiration on our unfortunate 1980’s apricot colored sofa!
There was an essence about her that I recognized as a Sleeping Dragon within myself…it was cool, in an energy-based way, it was so not contrived or egotistical…she just cruised-down-the-river of herself, young, free and as wise all at once…I hadn’t really seen that before, ‘felt’ it but she held the mirror up and…I LOVED soaking-up the light in the reflection.
Of course she went on to elope with Lenny Kravitz at 20 years old, then she had his baby and I use to exhale ‘wowza’ every time I saw them in the tabloid’s. She went on later in life to marry the man/lovegod that had been pestering me for my hand in marriage for year’s (Jason Momoa)…then had two children to him…I don’t think he ever told her about me…
I am lying. He never asked me to marry him…although I am sure I recall drinking too much red wine and an image of him in a magazine spoke to me (like the character’s on the wall do in Harry Potter)and asked me if I would like to Hula dance with him in the moonlight …. but I digress as per…
Anyhoo the point of today’s post is that it’s like a truly wonderful thing, when as a young man or woman you find your first Essence-Crush….the enigma that hold’s up the mirror of ‘Genuine’ Cool…who made you feel excited about the prospect of walking toward waking that Sleeping Dragon of inner confidence, self-expression and possibility.
Lisa Bonet is now 48 years a goddess and I am 43…..my darling teenage follower’s..if you can still feel all warm and squishy about a ‘celebrity’ decades later…then you KNOW that they were to your journey…the epitome of timeless cool-bananas…(F.Y.I….the fruit references was an 80’s saying…please ‘be rad’ and forgive me….PeaceOut…)xxxxxxxxxxxxxx