Happy New Ear!(s)

Happy New Ear!(s)

Aahhh…I still remember it like it was yesterday….and not 1987 when I was sixteen candles young………..

They were big, BIG, they were yellow, they were a pair of these….??…Yuuup. They were my first pair of LOOK-AT-ME question-mark ear-ring’s and they hung like a couple of manic parrot’s on steroid’s out of my ear’s….

Up until then I wasn’t allowed to wear big-one’s…infact I wasn’t allowed to get my ear’s pierced until I was 14.  I use to stare at the ‘cool’ girl’s who had more than one hole per ear and as for ‘the alternative’s’ who rocked a thousand safety-pin’s…I was Miss Stare-Bear on many an occasion.

Brushing my teeth this morning (spit,look back in the mirror, spit, look back in the mirror…) I saw something that I didn’t want to see…I saw……I saw…Lobe Strain!

Noooooo! I’m to young to ‘stud’s only’!  But…mirror’s don’t lie….my giant starry dingle-dangle’s were bringing-down my hearing devices like a couple of deviant anchor’s.

I was born with lovely ear’s (yeeesss I’m ear-vain ok!?)…and over the year’s I have adorned them with some wicked ear-candy.  But there come’s a time when thing’s indulged in every-other-daily need to be reserved for ‘special time’s’ only…especially when they ENCOURAGE a middle-aged body part to travel to the south of the South Pole BEFORE the Age of The Crone has set-in!

The other day whilst walking down the street a friend honked while driving by and I spun quickly to see who it was and my huge metal-feather ear-ring punched my tooth with an almighty CLANG…thank heaven’s no dentist trip was required.

In the meantime I will wear bangle’s up to my elbow’s, necklaces that scream like Zeena Warrior Princess and ankle chain’s with bell’s on that let you know that I will always… ‘Walk like an Egyptian’…xxxxxxxxxxx


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